The Little Things
by signelchan
Summary: There are some things from reality TV that no one ever wants to know, but everyone'll find 'em anyway. Twenty-two: Chris' epic secret, part two. /Twenty oneshots, one twoshot./
1. Simple

If there was one thing Chris McClean hated, it was not looking as handsome as he normally should. It drove him insane to no end, and while hosting Total Drama Island, even though he was in an air-conditioned house with everything he needed, his beauty and reputation were on the line every day. Why?

It was simple.

Very simple.

So simple that even the dumbest camper could see it.

Simpler than simple.

It was just plain simple.

He couldn't look handsome if he had ugly people following him around all the time. There was no way possible for it to happen. Not even if he was handsomer than handsome. It just was impossible.

And when he was going through something he hated, he was rough and tough on everyone around him. Because of this, the insane challenges were born.

* * *

A/N: Hi, all. Welcome to the drabble series about TDI/TDA! Some might seem familiar, and they were originally posted on another account. There will be more...and frequent updates!

Siggy


	2. Complexity

It was complicated. Really, it was. Courtney was too perfect, Bridgette too nice, Katie and Sadie too clingy, and Eva too scary. Gwen was too gothic, Izzy too insane, Lindsay too stupid, Heather too bossy, Leshawna too gangster, and Beth too odd.

All eleven girls had issues Noah thought were too bad for his tastes.

So he kissed a guy. And didn't like it.

Okay, so maybe it was in his sleep, but it was still a kiss. On the ear. Which is really bad. kisses aren't made for throwing around. They're meant for real relationships. So, even though he hated the kiss, he thought he should try to make it up to his victim.

"Cody, will you go out with me?" The words tumbled out all wrong. It was meant as take a walk outside "go out," not lovingly "go out."

Too bad it was said in front of all the other campers.

* * *

A/N: I don't own. -nod-

Siggy


	3. Poor, Poor Owen

It was really weird, it seemed. Everyone was falling in love left and right, or making friends left and right, or just making enemies all over. But one person felt that he wasn't getting anywhere with anyone. Poor Owen.

He had a potential girlfriend in Izzy. But he pushed her towards the psycho killer.

He had an alliance with guys who were really just using him in order to vote the girls off.

He had the original Gophers, until he went and disgusted them.

He had the merged team, except those that were left thought he was disgusting.

He had no one. Poor Owen.

It wasn't his fault. Yet, he was well on his way to the finale! If he did make it, would he win? Would everyone support him and give him their votes?

"Of course they will! Now get out! Or else I'm coming in!" Silence. "That's it!" More silence. "Open up!"

He opened the door, with his pants down and everything. There all the remaining campers, as in Gwen, Duncan, Leshawna, Heather, and Geoff, stood, glaring at him. They noticed that he was not completely covered, but they tackled him anyway. And finally, Owen was loved.

Until he woke up, anyway.

* * *

A/N: Yeah. Please review this. Even if it's a flame, it counts.

Siggy


	4. Eva Isn't Crazy After All

"Don't you hate being mean, angry, and tempermental?"

"Yes."

"Then change yourself."

Eva's life consisted of two things: weights and that conversation. The weights built up her strength, and the words brought her into reality. She wasn't the strongest person ever. Maybe the strongest on the island, but not in all of history.

That fact made her angry. Very angry. More angry than the time when she was little and the judges gave her second because she wasn't aggressive enough to deserve first. Ever since then, she had possessed a great deal of anger that needed to be released.

She knew she had issues. Total Drama Island was a great place to work on those. But now her Mp3 player was missing and she had no clue what to do. It had never gotten lost before, because everyone she knew was afraid to see her without it.

There was no calming music on the device. There were no announcements of her greatness recorded on there, either. All there was that she listened to was the conversations between her and her family, her and her trainer, and her and herself.

Without hearing the words telling her to change, she was nothing but a girl with strength in every possible area except self-control.

* * *

A/N: Um...yeah. *I don't own.*

Siggy


	5. Chef Hatchet, However, Is Crazy

It was a well-known fact that the only reason Justin was brought on to the show was because he was so incredibly gorgeous. After all, who would want to watch something without a hunk like him on it?

Anyway, he was on the island because of how hot he was. That was that. He was playing up the silent, mysterious, sexy beast stereotype.

Chef didn't like him, because he neither complimented nor criticized the food. How could he do that? Everyone had an opinion, and he was not letting his be heard! This made Chef mad. Very mad. So he went to Chris and told him. The sadistic host smiled upon hearing this.

"You know what you need? A way to make him miserable. Girls can't resist him, but you can!" Chef took this to heart, so after a few minutes of deep thinking, he replied:

"Talent show. Next challenge. I'll show him what I think!"

With that, the plan was in place. As luck would have it, Justin competed in the challenge and got the lowest score on his team. Mix in a bossy schemer named Heather and her puppets, and the vote-off was complete.

Who knew Chef hated someone because he didn't say what he thought?

* * *

A/N: I...um...don't own. Nor do I get reviews. Will you please leave some? I'll take requests if you do...

Siggy


	6. Owen and Izzy, a Sudden Romance

"No way! She's not seriously gonna do it!" Owen shouted. "Yet I am so psyched to see it!" It was just a normal day in camp, except when it came to what he was shouting about. It seemed as if Izzy was on the roof of one of the cabins, tying herself up with a long rope that was connected to the roof itself. She stepped closer to the edge with every second. Soon she was within inches of falling off.

"Ready, Owen?" she called out. He nodded excitedly.

"Do it!"

She did, but as the rope tighened from her fall, it suddenly snapped, sending her freefalling. And Owen was not goingt to let a crazy daredevil like her die on reality television. He jumped under her and safely caught her.

Izzy was stunned as she went from an exciting stunt to being cradeled in a fat boy's arms. "You ruined it! Oh my gosh, you ruined it!"

After that, they went on to be in a relationship that involved making out, falling off a cliff (which, in reality, is much more dangerous than roof diving), and a psycho killer. Not to mention brownies.

Thank goodness for Owen saving her then. Who knows what would have happened if he didn't?

* * *

A/N: Huh? A second Owen one? Yeah, well I like him! Even if I don't own him...or anything...

Siggy


	7. It's All Delinquent to Me

"Why is it that _I_ got stuck on the same team as _you_?" Courtney screamed in the confessional can. To reply to herself, she changed her voice and stuck a branch of green leaves on her head.

"Because the producers wanted us together, Princess."

Changing back, she said, "But you're danger and I'm not! Total opposites! We don't work well with each other!"

Sadly, she sighed. She knew if she said something from his point of view, it would include the words "yes", "love", and "kiss". It was sad that she knew him so well that she could speak his mind.

"Hey, Courtney, get out of there!" someone, while knocking on the door, called. "You're holding up all those problem-ridden Gophers!"

"Okay, coming, Bridgette!"

* * *

Later that same day, on the dock, sat Courtney, mumbling to herself about annoying, disgusting boys and how they were messing with her mind. How was it that she couldn't manipulate them here? "I wish I was at home!" she cried out, throwing her hands into the air.

"I wish you were, too."

She covered her ears. M_aybe if I dive in... Maybe he'll go away. Maybe, just maybe. _She scooted closer to the edge.

"What do you think you're doing, Princess? Trying to drown yourself?"

Paying no attention to him, she got to the edge and fell in...only to be rescued. When she looked at her savior, she noticed it was him. Still ignoring his words, she read his lips so she could at least know what he was saying.

"You scared me, jumping in like that. I don't know, but it seems like you can't stand me." He paused, only to laugh. "Yeah right! Like you can't stand me! Maybe I am a criminal, but I have some sense about women!"

"Then why?" she said in a quiet voice. "Why do you call me Princess, annoy me, drive me insane?"

"Because that's what guys do when they love a girl."

* * *

A/N: How. Sweet. I'm a freaking SAP, mmkay? I love romance!~ But I don't own...

Siggy


	8. The Brick Wall

"Dude, I got it." Cody held out a plastic bag, which Owen grabbed immediately. "Open up and prepare to eat your words."

"I see nothing to eat."

Cody slapped his forehead. "Just open the bag. I promise you'll be surprised."

"But there's nothing to eat."

"I didn't bring you anything to eat, unless you like fabric."

Owen grinned. "I've eaten sixteen pillows and seven blankets."

"You're not eating this! Only leftovers, because I got it!"

"You got leftovers?"

At that moment, Cody felt like the world was forcing him to slay a dragon for a brick wall.

But the wall would at least not be obsessed with food.

* * *

A/N: Because getting a girl's bra really is that needing of explanation.

I swear I don't own.


	9. That's Love, Right?

Beth sat on the cabin stairs, watching Justin pose in front of a tree, which he probably had attached a mirror to. He was continuously flexing his arms, squatting down (probably to show off his six-pack), and flipping his hair.

She sighed, wondering if he was doing this for her. "Like that would ever happen," she mumbled to herself. "He's a model, and I'm...me. There's like, no chemistry between us, and..." Her voice trailed off. "Justin is too good for me. End of story."

Meanwhile, over at the tree, that model was not only looking at his gorgeous body in the mirror. He had it at such an angle that he could steal glimpses of the girl on the steps every once in a while. It was a natural reflex of his to look at ugly people, but there was some unseen force that attracted him to her.

_I remember being the second-best looking person in school,_ he recalled, _but never the ugliest. I wonder if Beth's ever known more than that?_

(That's love, right?)

* * *

A/N: I first want to give paulinaghost credit for inspiring me to write a Justin/Beth story. Now, since these are all first season, I tried to fit it in, and I like the outcome. Tell me what you think, and be sure to request any pairing that I can possibly make, or suggest a character to write about.


	10. Recipe For Disaster

Life at Playa des Losers was grand. The food was edible, the water was clean...and Ezekiel had it all to himself for three days. Just three days. Only three glorious days in which to spend time thinking about what he did to deserve getting the boot first.

But the beauty of the whole place was too amazing for the boy to pass up, so instead of realizing that sexism is bad, he just played in the pool and got pampered hand and foot. So when loser number two, who just so happened to be a girl, came, he was still the same boy he was when he left camp, even a bit worse.

That was a recipe for disaster.

* * *

A/N: I am **not** anti-Ezekiel/Eva. I like them a lot, actually. This was just a little sketch.

Siggy


	11. A Note for Cody

Whoever wrote the note must have been obsessed; the blurry words and lipstick on the envelope were the all-true sign of a rabid fan girl. Cody wasn't particularly happy about this letter, though, as its return address was the exact location at which he was standing.

_Oh, great_, he thought, all the bad things that had happened to him already surfacing as memories. _This is going to be disastrous, I know it._ He slowly opened the letter, making sure to keep his finger paper-cut free as he did so. That didn't work, as he made a very long slice, which started bleeding as soon as it possibly could.

_Why does this always happen to me?_

The cut was quickly taken care of, though, and he resumed the opening of the letter. The next obstacle he faced was a wad of bubblegum keeping it closed. It got stuck to his injured finger, and, before he knew it, it was in his hair.

_No, really. Why me?_

Anyway, after the gum was taken care of, and the letter was finished being opened, the note was pulled out, and Cody found it to be in a much worse condition than the envelope. It was smothered in a fancy perfume, and had little hearts drawn all over it. It wasn't particularly strange, except for someone at Playa des Losers sent it to him.

_So I've got a stalker._

He went through his mental checklist. All of the girls at the resort wouldn't dare, and the guys pretty much hated his guts. So who was it? The only way to find out was to open it up and read this fan letter...

And as he unfolded the page, he came across four boldly written words: **You've been Izzy'd, punk! **Scribbled at the bottom, in what seemed to be pink lipstick was: **And he so totally kissed you!**

_This is why that bear should have ripped me limb from limb._

_

* * *

_

A/N: Shoot me. I love Cody. :D And it was begging to be written. Please review. -gets on knees- Please?


	12. A Hard Lesson

"You're serious? Completely serious?"

"Yes sir! I've made it impossible to even think about breaking into your fridge!"

Chef grunted, looking at the scrawny intern. Ever since the delinquent-and-girl-get-into-fridge-and-steal-food incident, he had been forced to have constant vigilence when it came to his kitchen. "And how have you done this?"

"You see, sir... I locked it from the inside."

"That's all?"

"Yes."

"Then how am I supossed to get in, maggot?"

The intern gulped. "I-i-i'm not sure. You're a bright man, sir. Can't you figure it out yourself?"

Several seconds later, Chris walked in on Chef throwing the intern into the wall.

_Note: No interns were harmed outside of challenge settings. Except for the one who messed with the fridge._

A/N: Happy October 1st! :)

I have nothing to say about this one, except to enjoy!

Siggy

* * *


	13. According to Gwen

According to Gwen, there were so many things wrong with the show, she couldn't count them all in her lifetime. The other campers were jerks; all they care about were themselves. The host was a sadist with too much time on his hands, and the chef was a dropout from some military program who felt it was his job to torture people senseless.

The challenges were all lame events that were made deadly to try to liven them up. The amount of creativity put into the show was so low, it couldn't be found. Most of all, the island should have been quarantined a long time ago.

Then again, there were some things she did like about the show. Some.

Sure, there were people she could consider her "friends." There was the getting to prove her brother wrong, and that she could survive on the show. Add in the fact that she was in love, and it was all good.

Minus the bad stuff, of course.

* * *

A/N: I don't like this one, mainly because I don't like Gwen. -sigh- It would have taken place sometime between the merge and the final five, by the way. :3

Siggy


	14. How to Confuse a Blonde

Beauty was a wonderful thing, Lindsay decided one day after watching the less pretty girls fight about something. Or, was it a horrible thing, because they were fighting?

"I'm confused!" she exclaimed as she pondered that fact.

Chris shook his head. "Tell me something I don't know."

* * *

"I'm confused, Heather," Lindsay said later that night to her "best friend."

The mean girl scoffed. "You always are, so get over it."

* * *

The gorgeous blonde was staring at her dinner for the night.

"Um, Chip? This isn't beautiful! Does it mean it's wonderful or horrible?"

Everyone in the mess hall shook their heads in sorrow for the girl.

* * *

A/N: I like this. It's probably not the best though, is it?

Happy October 4th!

Siggy


	15. Summer Will End One Day

The summer months wouldn't last forever, as all of the campers knew. They would one day have to leave the island area, return home, and deal with their new found stardom. But, as long as there was the show, as long as there was a Chris McLain telling them what to do, as long as there was a Chef Hatchet cooking disgusting food, the summer would never end.

There would always be a little bit of an Ezekiel in them, hating on people of the opposite gender because of what they thought.

There would always be a smidge of Eva, strong and fierce, no matter what.

There would, thankfully, always be some Noah, not wanting to be a team player.

As luck would have it, there would always be something in them as gorgeous as Justin.

For the times they felt against the world, there would be a bit of Katie in them to cheer them up.

In tough situations where all moves would be mistakes, there would be some Tyler to allow them to mess up anyway.

There would be some Izzy, just for those dull days.

To even things out, there would be a hint of Cody when times with significant others got rough.

In case of stunts that were out of the ordinary, there would be some Beth.

The Sadie in all of them would be there for the moments with the need to cling.

For times when a strong leader was needed, there would be a bit of Courtney magic in all of them.

As a buffer for the magic, though, there would need to be some Harold, just for those need-to-know nerd moments.

When the music in life was gone, they would have a bit of Trent and his guitar.

If they ever felt klutzy and like water was for them, the Bridgette inside would be shining.

In times of inner ugliness, they could count on the Lindsay to make them beautiful.

For moments when a big teddy bear with a listening ear was required, they could count on their bit of DJ.

When life got hard, they could hear the constant party of their part of Geoff, no matter how bad life actually was.

The bit of LeShawna they had would be there for the times when street sense was all that mattered.

As bad as it might seem, their piece of Duncan would help get them in, and out, of trouble as needed.

There, sadly, would be some Heather in them, just for those backstabbing moments.

Their amount of Gwen in them would let them know that, outcast or not, they can do anything if they try.

And, finally, they could use their BIG piece of Owen to show the world that gas isn't necessarily a bad thing.

But, hey! The summer wasn't over yet, and there was still more Total Drama to be had. Why worry about what would happen after the show, when it hadn't even gotten to the good part yet?

* * *

A/N: This one was fun. :D I know I went in order of elimination, but it was to make sure I got them all.

Happy October 5th!

Siggy


	16. Fear For Me?

"I wonder what challenge Chris will throw our way next?" LeShawna asked her goth pal.

"I don't particularly care," Gwen replied, rolling her eyes. The two were sitting in the cabin, the lights off, waiting for the other girls to come in, just to scare the living daylights out of them.

"Let's see...there aren't all that many people left. You think he'll merge us?"

"We just voted off your 'lover' and all you're worried about is a merge? I'm thinking he's going to try to kill us to burn the bodies and act lik it never happened."

"Gwen, sometimes, I fear for you, girl."

The goth blinked, although it was impossible to see it in the dark. "Fear for me? I fear for all of you."

* * *

A/N: I love the last line. It fits, since she makes it to the end, although she wouldn't know she will until she does. -shrug-

Listen, I have an idea for a TDI society, and if you want to join, can you PM me? I promise that I'll dedicate stuff to you if you inquire within.

Siggy


	17. Beth and Chris

"Wait. You thaid we have to thtay up, right?"

"Yes, Beth, yes," Chris replied to the lowly farm girl. "To win the challenge, you must stay awake for as long as possible."

"What if we can't?"

The host sighed. "You lose."

"I don't want to lose!" She began crying. "I want to make it to the end, just tho I can prove all of the non-believers wrong!"

"Beth, people don't not believe. They just think that they are better."

She sniffled. "Okay. Thankths, Chris." And as she walked away, she added. "Oh, and I'm pretty thure a couple of campers are going to love waking up!"

Boy, he wished he had known what she was talking about then.

* * *

A/N: I swear I don't own. I just love evil!Beth. :)

Siggy


	18. It's Cody!

"Cody, I think I love you," the girl said, out of breath.

"You _think_?"

"Okay, I know I love you." She smiled.

He grinned back, and replied with, "Then kiss me."

He woke up with a mouth full of pillow.

* * *

A/N: That is suckish, but I don't feel like expanding on it. Requests?

Siggy~


	19. Guitar Strings and Whack Jobs

_There are a limited number of strings you can have on a standard guitar. This is fact, and there is nothing that can be done about it. As this is so, it is important to know that no matter how hard you try, there is no possible way to fit more strings on the guitar without making them completely useless. Do not try to do such a thing to your guitar, because if you do, you look like an idiot._

With a quick scratch of the head, Chris asked one of the most important questions he could have ever asked: "Who in their right mind would try to put more strings on a guitar?"

Chef shrugged and took the piece of paper back. "Found it in the mess hall. Could have been any of those brats'."

"Right. Put it back where you found it and see who's it was?"

"Probably that punk's..." the man grumbled, causing the host to worry that his partner had a grudge against the kid or anything. "But we don't need to worry. It's probably not that important, anyway. Never expected you to go soft, Chris."

The host shook his head. "Not soft. Just...concerned. Whoever lost this is a real whack job."

* * *

A/N: Because I thought of it and I figured out how to fit it into the TDI setting as a bit of foreshadowing for TDA. :D

Siggy


	20. She's a Princess, All Right

She tapped on his shoulder lightly. He turned, saw who it was, and smiled, before asking her if she wanted to sit down and talk. Her head shook as she explained to him that no, she didn't want to talk, that she wasn't ready to talk about anything.

He grinned at this. "But you're talking now," he said, his eyes filled with joy. "And it's not like you're a bad person for letting him go after all of that stuff happened. If it was me in his situation, I'd get the hint." She huffed, before rolling her eyes at him. "Listen, Princess," he started.

"I'm so not taking this stuff from you!"

"Do you realize that you put up with his crap on air, where the whole country, heck, even the world, saw it? Courtney, you're Canada's Princess now, and I feel that I have the right to address you as such."

Courtney rolled her eyes again, and the boy looked out on the water. "You know, I'm going to hate you for this," she said.

"I don't care. Hate me all you want."

"You're such a know-it-all, Noah."

His grin became more maniacal. "No problem."

* * *

A/N: Do. Not. Own. The. Not!cute. Fic.


	21. Chris' Epic Secret, Part One

"Hey, listen..." Chris whispered in Chef's ear.

"What do you want?" the burly man replied. "Because this is only slightly creepy, you this close to me."

Chris jumped back in shock. "All right, then. I'll just tell someone who cares!"

xoxoxo

"Dude, you're a bit, uh huh, close," Owen said, taking a step back from the host, who was smiling a creepy smile and standing on his toes as if trying to get to the big guy's ear.

xoxoxo

Gwen ran off, her head turned toward Chris, who was standing in a position much like the one he had taken with Owen. "Get away from me!" she screamed.

"But, but, there's something I need to tell you!"

xoxoxo

"Uhm, Chip?" Lindsay asked. "Can you please either kiss me or back off? I'd love the paparazzi's attention, please."

He backed away from her without any protest, but she pouted and started to cry about how she had just been abandoned like that.

xoxoxo

Chris was desperate now. He needed to tell someone this.

"Hey, Heather," he started, but as he was following her, he didn't notice she was walking into her cabin...until he had the door slammed in his face.

"Get lost, stalker," she shouted behind the closed door.

He couldn't help but feel she was right.

xoxoxo

"Yo, Chris," Trent said, waving at the very dejected host. "Something wrong, man?"

He looked at the musician, who was sitting under a tree playing his guitar. "Yes, but I know what you will say if I tell you what, so I'll just walk away while I can."

"Whatever suits you."

It took getting halfway back to his trailer to realize that he could have potentially told Trent what was up, but while running over to him, he tripped over the legs of Cody, which were sticking out from behind a rock.

xoxoxo

He didn't have much luck with the other Gophers; Izzy, LeShawna, Beth, Justin, and Noah were all too busy or too annoying for him to even dare tell them. And so, with this big secret in mind, he went on a search for the Killer Bass...

* * *

A/N: And so begins the finale of The Little Things...

I own nada.

~Siggy


	22. Chris' Epic Secret, Part Two

"Chef, please? I really don't want to-"

"No."

And so Chris realized he really would have to find the Bass in order to tell anyone.

xoxoxo

The wild look in Ezekiel's eyes as Chris approached him was a big enough sign to show that he was scared. "I haven't done anything, eh!"

"No, Zeke! I just want to tell you something."

The prairie boy got even more scared. "Please, I don't want to go back!"

xoxoxo

Courtney and Duncan both, although in two totally different ways, also rejected the host's problem. "Too bored, can't hear the lame words coming out of your mouth," had been Duncan's response, and Courtney had gone into a rant about how she was a CIT and deserved to get out of hearing whatever it was.

xoxoxo

Eva threw a weight at Chris. That alone made him fear her potential.

But it was Katie and Sadie squealing to their hearts content that made him wish he really wasn't doing this.

xoxoxo

"I'm not going to get off of the island, if that's why you're here," Harold said as he passed by. "You look like you want to be like a slayer and destroy us."

"If I wasn't so busy, I think I might have 'slayed' you already."

Great. He wasn't even making sense anymore.

xoxoxo

Nothing came out of DJ's mouth, other than a loud, high-pitched squeal, that was. Geoff just laughed at it, but had a similar freak-out when Chris came up to him. And Bridgette just ran away while she could. Having the deranged host come at her was not fun-sounding, apparently. Tyler had to have thought the same, but his run away maneuver ended up with him in the lake.

xoxoxo

"That's it!" Chris exclaimed after the last round of rejection. "I'm done with this! I was going to let them all just go home, and have robots take their places! But no! They're going to suffer through Total Drama Island. No ifs, ands, or buts!"

* * *

A/N: And do you think he really would do that? I think so. It's just so...Chris-esque :)

That's the end of the little series I have here. I made 20 oneshots and a two-shot. I'm proud. I hoped you all enjoyed my foray into what ifs in Total Drama Island!~

Siggy


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